My dear friend turned 40, and six of us celebrated last weekend with an amazing ladies retreat at the lake. My friends' parents recently built an amazing house and opened up their home to us. There's nothing like a massive house with all of the amenities of a luxurious B&B coupled with the comforts of home, and six amazing women to recharge the batteries. The 28-hour get-away seemed so much longer. Perhaps time away for massages, movies, football, fine wine, delicious food, fun tunes, pool, tons of laughs, late-night karaoke and fond memories was the perfect medicine. I am truly blessed to have amazing circles of friends in my life.
The last 6 weeks has been super hectic between work, school, birthday parties, sports, activities, exercise, all of our travels, and the other duties life of a working suburban mother of two, wife, daughter, sister, friend requires! Somehow in the midst of the chaos of life, I have made time to for 31 visits to the hospital for my daily dose of radiation. "Are you tired?" the little old lady in the elevator asked me. "I'm doing pretty well, actually. I don't really have time to be tired!"
I have become quite close with my Radiation Techs, and adore my Radiation Oncologist. I will not miss my daily dose, but I will miss the people I have met along the way. The ladies at the front reception are so kind and always greet me with a smile. My techs are three men in their thirties who I have bonded with, and trust whole-heartedly. At first I was shy about having men so up close and personal to my breast, but now it has become second nature, and it doesn't matter. I appreciate them all so much, and no matter what mood I'm in, we always manage to crack a joke or a smile.
The other day I had a few minutes to wait, and I started talking to a woman in the waiting room who was my age. Every day when I arrive she is sitting there doing work, waiting for her 78-year old mother. We started chatting and hearing the story about her mom made my situation seem not so bad. I will not get in to details, but she has a rare skin cancer in a place where the sun doesn't shine...in the most personal of nether regions that a woman has. Suddenly the pain and exposure of my perky, reconstructed scarred breast didn't seem so bad. I have also become friendly with the woman who is treated right after me. Each day we greet each other as we pass each other in our gowns. The other day we both were in the waiting room and started chatting. She is 39, and there are twenty or so women in her office building under 40 with breast cancer. I just don't get it. Why are so many of us, so young, with no family history connected by the pink ribbon? Bottom line, as the days have gone by, RW has become a place of healing, and no longer a place of fear.
My skin had been doing really well, until I felt some real burning sensations last Friday. I suppose after 28 treatments, my skin was bound to give in, especially since they were doing three different fields. Last night it was difficult for me to fall asleep because my skin was so burned. Imagine your worst sunburn x 10. I am reminded why I stopped sunbathing years ago! My doctor prescribed some burn cream and that is helping a little. But, little blisters have formed and around the edges it's red and raw. I had been warned of burns and blisters but had been doing so well I thought I'd be the lucky one to escape the discomfort. Fortunatly that area will get a reprieve, because I have now moved on to the electron boost. I only have 6 more treatments left, and these are targeted right in the area where the cancer was. The delusional part of me is glad to feel some pain and see the raw, blistered skin. Because you can't see or feel radiation, the symptoms I'm experiencing offer reassurance that these invisible rays are zapping any bad cells that may be left in my body, and I know it's working. Pain and discomfort suck, but it could be much worse. So after some brief venting to and pity from my friends and family, I feel better. I am strong...but am so ready to get this treatment over with and put cancer behind us once and for all. I'm ready to heal.
Yesterday my husband and I ventured over to CW and met with my Medical Oncologist to discuss my treatment plan. I'm too tired to go in to details now, but I will start 4 weeks from now most likely -- around the beginning of November. I will have 4 cycles -- 1 every 3 weeks. I am ready to get going on that and be done with the Big C once and for all. More on that later.
As for now, it's time to get some sleep. Our jet-setting travels are taking us to beautiful La Jolla, California tomorrow! My husband, mom and I are heading west for my cousin's wedding. It will be a weekend filled with family, beautiful weather, and a happy marriage celebration. It's not very often that our extended family gets together, and I feel so blessed to be able to attend the festivities. My extended family has walked with us every step of this journey, and it will be great to give them big hugs in person! At the end of the day, family, friends and happy memories are what it's all about. Thinking about the fun to come and reminiscing about the good times we've had offers motivation to stay strong and not let anything get in the way of life. Life is about living for the day, and not fearing the future. It's about giving thanks and appreciating the wonderful people in my life and happy times that matter most.
There is no doubt that this weekend will be filled with much needed rest, relaxation, fun, good times -- all around Great Days!
Work hard, give thanks, love deeply. Don't wait for tomorrow to do something that will make you happy today. Love life and life will love you back.
xoxo
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