35 Radiation Treatments...Check.

I have gotten a lot of use out of my compression sleeve and glove in the last month. As we prepared to take off for Austin, I slipped off my cardigan and slid on my "arm girdle." On my last flight, the woman next to me felt the need to discuss the sleeve, and also came to the conclusion that the silver fillings in my mouth were giving me heavy metal toxicity and that could be the cause of my cancer. Needless to say I have had lengthy discussions with my dentist and my pediatric dentist, both with a mouthful of silver fillings, who assured me that there are such minor traces of mercury in the fillings, and taking them out would cause more harm than good at this point. Lovely.

We had a wonderful time kickin' up our heels Texas style. The wedding and cowboy fiesta were a blast, and it was fun to hang out with friends and experience all the wonderful things Austin has to offer. The BBQ and TexMex cuisine were delicious, and the shopping and night life were fabulous. We also had some good relaxing down time, which is just what the doctor ordered. It sure is a lot of fun to have a lot of fun!

As nice as it is to get away, it's good to come home too, especially when you have two little smiling faces who greet you with big hugs! We are truly blessed to have our families close by to help with the kids and everything else. They mean the world to us, and our kids have had a ball! They are blissfully unaware of what's going on.

Monday morning it was time to make thank you notes and gather trick or treat packages for the staff at RW. For over 7 weeks, every day I trekked to the hospital to have my 15 minute daily dose of radiation. While the actual process was painless, the daily routine was exhausting both mentally and physically. I'm not sure anyone really understands this unless you have experienced it yourself.

I grew quite close to my Radiation Techs. On the front of a home made thank you note I taped a photo of my family of four. And inside as I thanked them, I told them I wanted them to have a visual of what I saw every time I closed my eyes on laid on the table. I wanted them to see three of the main motivating factors I have to fight the beast and live a long, healthy, happy life. And I wanted them to know who was thanking them for healing me...a wife...a mommy.

After my last treatment, only one of my Radiation Techs was there, and I was saddened to not be able to say good-bye after so many weeks of interactions. I gave my one guy the bucket of treats and the card and gave him a hug. I tried my best to hold back the tears and quickly went on my way. As I left, I said good-bye to one of the receptionists, and handed her a bucket of treats as well. As her eyes met mine, our eyes welled up with tears. I thanked her for greeting me with a smile every single day. She knew my name from day one. She never had me check in. She just quietly said hello and offered a smile. I thanked her for being such a kind face to see every single day, and she came around the corner to give me a big hug.

As I got in the elevator, there was an overwhelming wave of emotion. And as I reached the lobby, my two Radiation Techs were standing there. As a tear streamed down my face, I gave them a big hug and said, "Thank you for everything." They said, "You did a great job, congratulations. Be sure to come visit us when you come back for your follow up in a few months. Good luck to you!"

As I got in the car, I felt a feeling of accomplishment, and a feeling of relief. If anyone else could understand all that transpired the last 7 weeks, it was them. And I was done with this phase. As I drove out of the garage, even the parking attendant gave me a smile. Shoot, I've seen him 35 times, too! I said, "I won't see you tomorrow, I'm done!" He smiled and said, "Be well, sweet lady."

As painful as the burns were by the end, it was a physical sign that any lingering nasty cells were zapped and fried. Somehow I drew comfort in the physical evidence of the 35 treatments. Even after just a couple of days of reprieve, my breast is healing nicely. I'm hoping in a week or two the burns will be a distant memory. Surgery...check. Four wonderful vacations...check. Thirty-five radiation treatments...check. Deep breath...check.

Now it's time for phase 3...the beast. On October 26 I will get my port placed again, and on November 2 I will begin my four cycles of heavy dose Adriamyacin chemotherapy. In the midst of those 11 weeks of chemo, I will focus on my health, savor time with my loved ones, and celebrate the joy and hope of the holidays. (And, meet my neice!) On January 4, I will be done and hopefully will then be able to put all of this behind me once and for all. Remeber what I read about the goal? A goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline. Dream...check. Plan...check. Deadline...check. Now, let's add some prayers to that and God willing my body will cooperate and my mind will stay strong, and together with those I love we can get through this and move on.

xoxo